Failing
9:23 p.m. - 2007-11-12
The tax bill came in ...ouch. I do not have it. I am trusting God for it. I am doing my best not to stress.
The holidays.. ugh. Why can't they be about love and not money? I would give lots of money if I had it. I try to always give love.
Last night my heart broke. Amanda moved out. She has been living here for over 9 months. I love this child as if she were one of my own. She moved in because she was pregnant and scared and too young. She lost her baby, and she stayed on to be part of the family. The couple of stipulations of staying here were :1. She quit having sex as she's too young. 2. She finishes High School , she just went into the tenth grade and brought home the best report card of her life, and 3. She attend church services with us. They are not hard rules to live by.
Well since shes been here and after she lost the baby there have been 3 pregnancy scares. And now she not only is quite possibly pregnant but also contracted a STD. I did not throw her out. I simply gave her a couple of options. 1. She says she is our daughter, then comply with the rules, no more sex and be grounded until further notice or until she earns our trust back or 2. move. She chose to move. So late last night she moved out, she didn't have to move out that fast but I think her own shame drove her out. No one yelled, judged, or made mean remarks at all. In fact, we were all in great tears as she left.
I feel like I tried my best with her, I feel like I failed her in some way too.
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