crack
3:42 a.m. - 2006-01-18
I swear the world is making me crazy. Seriously. I am walking around on the verge of tears or angry outbursts lately. Then intense sorrow or regret. Good things and bad are making me cry. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I wish I did.
And it doesn't help when things take me by total shock. For example, my neighbor wanted/ needed a shoulder to cry on the other night. So she called me and I went over there. She was complaining about her live in boyfriend. Now both these people are in their 50's. They are helpful great neighbors. I know they have problems, but mostly because of her son. He is 17, bisexual and a thief. They fight about him all the time, so that is what I thought I was gonna hear about. Boy, was I wrong. She was bitching about money. Okay most people have money problems, we do. Bitch, get it out of your system etc. I can listen, I can empathize etc. Her main bitch was about her bf not contributing to any of the bills in the house and keeping the money he makes in thier mutual business. They are at the point that their lights and phone is about to get cut off etc. So I asked her "what does he do with his money?" Fair question right? She says "do you really really want to know?" I am so naive. I said "yeah". Crack, the man smokes crack! I would NEVER have suspected this. Then I ask her, do you as well? She admits that yes she does. Holy shit!
Am I wrong here when I say dont bitch to me about your lights being cut out etc when you are throwing your hard earned money away on CRACK! I have never even seen crack. I think you could have knocked me over with a feather when she told me. She noticed my face expression and immediately begged me not to tell anyone. Well no one reads this anyhow, so thats ok.
I don't know what to think. How can I not notice these things? But honestly I would never have even suspected had she not made her confession that I could have done without.
I really need to work on my moods. I dont like this cybil light and dark bullshit.
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